Time and Time Again
by LilyRizzoli
Summary: Five times Finnick tried to tell Annie, "I love you," and the one time he did. Rated M for sexual content and scenes so don't read if underaged or if you'll get offended. Please review and fave if you like it! Beta'd by wonderful Underwater-Smiles.
1. Chapter 1

I have only been back from the games for a few weeks, yet everyone knows who I am. Girls and women alike giggle every time I walk by, or make pitiful flirting attempts I have to politely brush off. Due to this take refuge now on the quiet beach by my new house in the Victor's village.

I walk along the beach, thinking, my bare feet sinking in the sand slightly with each step. I stare out to sea. I wish. I wish I could return to the time before the Games, before the Reaping, when I was just 'the Odair boy.' When I was nobody special. When my hands where clean, my life was mine. When-

My thoughts are cut off when I crash into something. Not something actually, _someone. _I look down and my eyes meet hers for the first time, stormy sea meeting stormy sea.

"I'm sorry." We both say at the same time. And then I laugh, the first real laugh since before my name was called. She laughs with me, her dark hair blowing in the sea breeze. She must be at least a year younger than my 14, but she looks older than her time for some reason; maybe it was her deep eyes. She's beautiful.

Then she smiles and turns back, beginning to walk away. I stare after her in shock.

''Wait!'' I call to her. She turns back and stares at me expectantly. _What should I say_, I suddenly think ludicrously. Why are you not at my feet worshipping me? Why are you treating me like the old me, not who I'm supposed to be now?

''I… I don't know your name,'' is the best I can come up with. She looks amused by the question.

''My names Annie Cresta, Finnick.''

''So you do know my name.'' I grin, unable to stop myself. She shakes her head, the sound of her laugh carried away by the wind.

''It would be hard not to.'' She turns away again, but again I stop her.

''Annie!'' She raises her eyebrow at me. I pause for a few moments. ''Thank you.'' Is all I say. She looks at me, a quizzical expression passing her face. But she doesn't question what I'm thanking her for. She smiles again then continues on her way down the beach, her bare feet, like mine, sinking in the sand.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm sitting on the beach, the same beach where we met, when she comes up behind me. This has become some sort of routine, coming here and spending the days together and it's been going on for over a year now. _What would the Capitol think_, I can't help but wonder bitterly, as she takes a seat beside me on the cool shore.

''I've got to go tomorrow.'' Is all I say. She stares out at the sea and sunset and doesn't say anything. ''I've got to go to the Capitol tomorrow, after the reaping to mentor.'' I repeat.

''I know.'' She responds.

''I don't want to go,'' I whisper. Annie doesn't say anything other than, 'I know,' once more.

And this is how most of our conversations about the Games go. She never pries for information; she doesn't make me talk about things that I don't want to. She doesn't ask me what it's like to kill, like so many others in our district have.

''I don't think I can do it, not again. I don't want to watch someone who's relying on me die.''

Annie looks at me, then reaches over to wipe away a tear I didn't even realise had fallen.

''You're stronger than them.'' She tells me, with a strain in her voice.

''The other mentors?'' I ask.

''No,'' she almost whispers to me, ''the Capitol.''

I stare at her, trying to uncover her cryptic words, trying to make sense of her wonderful mind. I stare at her, and not for the first time, realise what a smart, beautiful girl she truly is at just 14.

''Annie?'' She still hasn't looked away. There is so much I want to tell her, so much I want to make her understand. About me, her, the Capitol and what I do there. Us. This girl has slowly become my sole reason to get up in the morning, every morning. She is slowly creeping up on me. I want to show her she's right, that I am stronger than them but only because of _her_. I want to tell her she's perfect to me.

''You're a great listener,'' is all I say.


	3. Chapter 3

The train ride home from the Capitol is a nervous one. I cannot stay still, cannot stay in just one compartment. I want to go to the engine room and yell at them to make the train go faster. I have been on one of my long visits away, longer than any other in fact. Two whole months I've gone without seeing Annie and by this point I am desperate.

When the train does finally arrive home, I leap of it onto the platform, then begin to sprint to the beach. Doubt settles in the pit of my stomach as I get closer, but of course she'll be there. I called her last night to let her know I would be home now. She's going to be here.

And she is. Relief courses through my body at the sight of her.

My Annie.

She sees me coming, leaps up from the wet sand and runs towards me. We crash into each other and fall to the floor in a laughing heap. This has always been easy with her, this friendship. I'm so happy to have her back, to be back. This is where I belong.

''I missed you,'' she whispers when we stand back up.

''I missed you too, Annie.'' This delights her and she throws her arms around my neck. That's when it happens. I wince. She removes her arms and takes a step back.

''Finnick, are you okay? Are you hurt?'' she asks, tumbling over her words.

''Annie, I'm fine.'' I won't meet her eyes. I am already trying to think up some excuse. I can't lose her now.

''Don't lie to me Finnick!'' she makes a move to push my shirt away to get a better look at my neck and shoulders. I catch her wrist in my hand before she can.

''I said, I'm fine. Drop it.'' I almost hiss through gritted teeth. Her eyes widen with fear and I feel physically sick before I realise it is not me she's afraid off.

''They did hurt you.'' She whispers, like she can't or won't believe it. She makes another move to look, and this time I don't stop her, despairing. I know really there is no point. She was going to find out sooner or later.

Annie gasps when she sees. The swollen purple bite marks peppering my collor bone and lower neck. The bruises matching the exact shape of a hand. The raw red cuts and nail scrapes. I have never felt more disgusted of myself in all my life.

She looks up at me, tears filled her eyes. But then Annie does a strange thing. She does not run away in revolt or even take a step back. Instead she leans forwards and ever so gently kisses one of the bruises. When she looks up at me again, my face is a display of pure shock.

''They sell me.'' I croak out, finding my voice finally. She simply nods, but it's enough. It's enough to have a beautiful, pure girl to know the truth and not turn away like I am something to be ashamed of. I tell her everything, from the first time to the most recent and many of the times in between. I tell her how dirty I feel and how I have never told anyone else but her. I talk and cry until I am out of words and my throat is dry.

''You must see me as someone so disgusting now.'' I half laugh. I wait for her to agree and tell me that things have changed now.

''You will always be beautiful to me, Finnick.'' She sighs, as though saying so is completely useless, like she doesn't know what those words mean to me. My heart feels as though it is going to fly right out of my chest.

She thinks I am beautiful.

I want to tell her, tell her all the things I should have a year ago. Tell her what it means to me, what she means to me. But instead I do something else I should have done two years ago.

I lean in and kiss her. And when she kisses me back, it's like everything in the world is alright again, if only for our few precious moments.


	4. Chapter 4

Desire pulses through my body as her hands come to tangle and knot in my hair. Her lips move fiercely against mine. I play with her bottom one between my teeth, gently, in a way I have never done with anyone else. She moans into my mouth and for the first time I experience how much of a turn on it is to be the cause of noise like that. My hands slip under her shirt and are soon tugging at it, desperate to get it off. I want to feel her skin against mine.

We strip each other, layer by layer until there is nothing left between us. I lace my fingers into her hair while my mouth works its way down her neck and between her breasts, kissing every bit of golden skin it can reach. I push her back so she is lying on the bed, with me hovering over her. As my mouth reaches her breasts, I slip my hand between her thighs and begin to pleasure her.

''Finnick,'' she cries, her hand tangling in the sheets around her.

''Are you sure you still want too?'' I ask. I have to be sure.

''Yes,'' she almost whimpers, ''I need you.''

I don't need to hear anything else, before I completely cover her body with mine. My erection throbs in my hand and I have never wanted someone so much. As I push inside her, she gasps in both pain and pleasure and it's the most gorgeous sound I've ever heard. She has closed her eyes, but I need her to see me.

''Look at me, Annie,'' and she does. She leans up and kisses me as I rock in and out of her body. Already I am falling, drowning in her, and I know if I am not careful I am going to lose it before she even has the chance to.

My hand reaches down between our bodies, beginning to stroke her fast. Her back is arched and I know it won't be long before it's all over and it is another first when I realise I don't want it to be. Annie shudders and tightens even more around me, letting out a breathy moan of my name before she's gone. I kiss her hard as I follow behind her only a few minutes later, emptying myself into her beautiful body.

I roll of her, but hold her close. We lie there for a while, panting and sweaty, still entwined around each other. Her head is resting on my chest and I can tell she is listening to my racing heartbeat.

No bruises. No cuts. No pain.

Sex is something I have never done other than to please my clients in the Capitol. It's been something I've been forced into, something I've done purely for survival. This is the first time I've ever felt something while doing it. It feels rebellious and amazing and I love it.

I love Annie for it.

I look down, now determined to finally tell her. She knows anyway, she has done for a while. I just haven't been able to find the words. I look down and-

She's asleep. I can't help but smile as I watch her, all traces of any emotion having left her face, leaving her in complete peace. Leaning down, I kiss the top of her head gently. Her eyelids flutter open and she gazes at me, eyes blurry. I can't tell her now, not while she's half asleep. I want her to remember it in the morning.

''That was perfect,'' I whisper instead, ''you're perfect.''

''You too,'' she mumbles and then the land of dreams takes her once again.


	5. Chapter 5

I stand on the stage staring out at the sea of scared faces. I don't truly see them though, I'm too busy in my own thoughts of Annie and how unbearable the next few weeks without her are going to be.

The video from the Capitol roles to a close as the District 4 representative, whose names I always forget, begins to drone on about honour and sacrifice. When it's time for the actual reaping I give it all my attention. I want District 4 to win again this year. I do not want any more blood on my hands.

''Now, the female tribute for the 70th Hunger Games is…'' his hand reaches into the bowl containing the slips of paper, ''Annie Cresta!''

My blood turns to ice in my veins. This is impossible. The deal I made with Snow, to keep her name out… how can this happen?

I watch Annie emerge from the crowd of other 17 year olds, her face white. She is shaking, worse than I have ever seen a person shake as she takes unstable steps to the stage. Her eyes meet mine and for a second I think I see something terrible, betrayal.

But then it's gone, it's replaced by fear.

The other tributes name is called, a small boy around 14. No body volunteers for either of them. After a round of applause they are ushered into the justice building where their families will be waiting to say goodbye. I make my way to the train in a daze and wait for her.

When she flies through the doors and flings herself into my arms, it's all I can do to hold her close. She's crying and it's all I can do to not fall apart as well. Almost everything I care about is in my arms right now, and soon it will be taken from me and forced to endure everything I did. I just might lose her forever.

''I'm going to die, Finnick.'' She chokes out between sobs. ''I'm going to die in that arena, I'm never going to see you again.''

''No you're not.'' I place a finger under her chin and force her to look up at me. ''I'm going to make sure you come out alive, Annie.'' She doesn't look convinced.

''Don't make promises you can't keep.'' She whispers, her tears now silently slipping down her cheeks.

''I would never lie to you, Annie. I love you.'' 5 years of fear crumble at my feet.

A small smile crosses her face and suddenly my head is filled of memories with that smile. On the beach, in the sea, in my bed, at the dinner table, curled up on the sofa, walking through the district. 5 years of her smile, of her. The words I was so scared to say all this time have faded into insignificance. I love you, Annie. I love you, I love you, I love you.

''I love you too, Finnick.''

The look of certainty in her eyes almost makes me hate myself for wasting so much time.

_Tell me again, Annie before it's too late. Tell me again. _


End file.
